I booked a £79 mystery holiday and thought things couldn’t get any worse | Europe | Travel
I booked a £79 mystery holiday (Image: Portia Jones)
While doom scrolling and sipping a large glass of cava, I came across a deal that stopped me mid gulp: a mystery holiday for just £79.
I love a good mystery! As a travel writer and podcaster, I’m constantly planning work trip itineraries so fancied the thought of letting someone else decide where I’m going. What could possibly go wrong?
If, like my husband, you are wondering what a mystery holiday is, allow me to explain. The popular Wowcher deal promises return flights and two nights in a hotel somewhere abroad for a low price, £79 per person when I did i but more usually £99. It could be Dubai, New York, the Maldives, Las Vegas or Mexico, or European destinations such as Paris, Monaco, Sicily, and Lake Como.

If you’re feeling adventurous, you can always hop on a cheap, 30-minute train to Málaga (Image: Portia Jones)
Your destination is allocated via a randomised draw and is subject to availability. Which is marketing speak for “fate with a booking fee”. Every booking is randomly assigned to one of three tiers. Six holidays sit in Tier 1. Twelve in Tier 2. And a whopping 1,982 in Tier 3. That is 2,000 packages in total, enough for 4,000 travellers, all distributed by draw.
A tiny sprinkling of those will be the headline, long-haul, brag-on-Instagram trips but the vast majority are European weekend breaks. Which are perfectly nice. Europe has culture, pastries and very decent wine.
But you just have to accept that while you may end up posting sunset shots from Barbados, you might end up in an adequate three-star hotel in a European city you’ve no real interest in. You have to decide if it’s worth the risk.
My husband was not wildly enthusiastic about paying to be surprised but I talked until he lost the will to live and bagged the deal at £79 each.

I’m not sure what I was expecting for £79 (Image: Portia Jones)
The odds of us swanning off to Dubai were casino-level but I chose to be optimistic and was determined we would escape the British drizzle and emerge somewhere glamorous.
Credit card in hand, I effectively gambled our annual leave on Wowcher and waited for the universe to reward my impulsiveness.
Shortly after paying, a code and redemption link arrived in my inbox, which felt very exciting. I entered our details into the site, selected our preferred departure airport, and discovered that flying from anywhere other than London costs extra, and if you want to take more than a t-shirt and a pack of fem wipes, you’ll have to pay for a bag. Of course.
Then came the grand reveal. We had fully committed to the fantasy by this point. I was mentally picturing us in the Caribbean, toes in turquoise waters, sipping piña coladas.
Then I clicked. “Costa del Sol.” I screamed the F word (not “fantastic!”)
After my minor meltdown I did my mindful breathing exercise and regrouped. Spain in February would be great, a chance of blue skies, tapas and cocktails by the sea. Given that it has rained every single day in Britain for weeks, this trip was destined to be the sunny salvation my vitamin-D-deficient heart deserved.
I pictured balmy afternoons in a cute seaside resort with an ocean view where I could watch epic sunsets as I boarded our delayed Ryanair flight in the freezing cold.

Benalmadena is worth visiting, especially when it’s not raining (Image: Portia Jones)
I stayed positive through the turbulence, when they sold out of cheese-and-ham toasties and even when the man behind me removed his shoes. Nothing could ruin my holiday. Then the captain spoke: “Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking from the flight deck.

I bagged the Wowcher Mystery Holiday for £79 per person (Image: Wowcher)
“As we begin our descent, I’d like to give you an update on the weather conditions. The area is currently experiencing adverse weather, including heavy rain and strong winds.”
And that the moment I officially abandoned all hope. I was landing in the middle of Storm Leonardo rather than in lovely Spanish sunshine. Things could not possibly get worse, until they absolutely did.
It turns out that Wowcher’s concept of a ‘minimum three-star hotel stay’ differ from mine. While I had imagined a cutesy hotel with an ocean-view terrace, what we got was a tired-looking budget apartment block in Benalmadena town that clearly hadn’t been updated since the 90s. To be fair, our apartment was fairly clean and of a decent size, but it was extremely basic.

I did get to slurp fresh oysters from the shell for €3 (Image: Portia Jones)
No balcony, toiletries or even coffee. There was also the threat of “fines” if you leave the light on when you go out, and you have to check out before 10am. This was a bare bones stay for the budget traveller, not the mid-tier relaxing break I had hoped for.
I’m not sure what I was expecting for £79, but I was now fully in a negative spiral as Storm Leonardo raged outside, rain lashing and wind howling.
My husband, after living with my particular brand of travel chaos for 12 years now, seemed surprisingly calm about the whole thing, almost as if it had fully met his expectations for a holiday for less than £100. Undeterred, I confidently announced we would visit the aquarium, the perfect place for a wet and windy Wednesday. Surely penguins would cheer me up.

The sun eventually made an appearance! (Image: Portia Jones)
“Due to Storm Leonardo, the aquarium is closed,” the sign taped to the door read. Of course. To the pub then. So why, you might reasonably ask, didn’t we admit defeat, check out, and head home? Well, when the sun made appearances in between downpours, Benalmadena town really isn’t that bad.
The town is divided into three main areas: the traditional hilltop Pueblo, the central Arroyo de la Miel, and the seaside Costa, and there’s plenty to do here.
Sure, like most places in the Costa del Sol, you have bars for boozed-up Brits with blaring music, souvenir stores hawking tat, and vape shops, but there’s also a gorgeous seafront, swish marina and tasty tapas.

The travel gods had decided it was Costa del Sol for us (Image: Portia Jones)
When the weather is behaving, plod along the 10-kilometre stretch of sandy beaches, including Blue Flag options like Santa Ana Beach. The palm tree-lined promenade is also dotted with ocean-view restaurants and bars where you can buy an Aperol Spritz and watch the waves.
Puerto Marina is also worth a visit. The major, uniquely designed marina features shopping, dining, and the Sea Life aquarium (when it’s not closed due to rain, despite the marine life living in tanks).
Attractions in the area include the 33-metre-tall Buddhist Stupa, Colomares Castle, and the Teleférico (cable car) to Mount Calamorro for panoramic views.
If you want a slice of more ‘authentic Spain’, wander away from the seafront, and you’ll soon stumble across tapas bars and restaurants like Asador Casa Miguel serving Andalusian dishes. The Iberian pork medallions were exceptional.

Gamble your annual leave and book a mystery holiday! (Image: Portia Jones)
If you’re feeling adventurous, you can always hop on a cheap, 30-minute train to Málaga, a historic port city packed with culture and excellent eats.
Explore the palm-dotted city, and you’ll find astonishing historical sites, such as Alcazaba (Moorish fortress), a Roman Theatre, and a 16th-century cathedral. There are also over 30 museums here, including the Picasso Museum and the Carmen Thyssen Museum.
As the weather alternated between rain and sunshine, we found that a trip to Málaga was an excellent way to escape the rain, and the sun also came out.
We spent a delightful few hours visiting cultural heavyweights like the Picasso birthplace and the Roman Theatre and eating our way around the buzzing Mercado de Atarazanas (Malaga food market).

I pictured balmy afternoons in a cute seaside resort with an ocean view where I could watch epic sunsets. This is what I told myself as I boarded our delayed Ryanair flight in the freezing cold (Image: Anna Barclay, Getty Images)
Here you’ll find stalls brimming with local produce where you can slurp fresh oysters on the shell for €3 and sip cava for under €4 a glass. Lush.
Despite the stormy weather, our time in Costa del Sol felt all too brief, and it was soon time to head back to the airport. I suppose that’s the issue with this particular Wowcher mystery deal: you’re given a narrow window in which to experience your destination. If the weather is glorious, you’re smug. If it’s biblical, you’re essentially on a layover with sangria.
But here’s the real lesson the Wowcher mystery holiday taught me. In travel, as in life, you get exactly what you pay for.
During my 20s, while backpacking on the cheap, I stayed in three-dollar-a-night hostels with sanitary conditions so questionable the Red Cross would have intervened.

Wowcher is offering £10 off its Mystery Holiday Deal for a limited time. (Image: Getty Images)
I am older now. Wiser. More aware of thread counts. I like comfort and hotels with fluffy towels and working air conditioning.
I have learned, repeatedly, that if you book a budget break, you must be prepared for budget realities: inconvenient flight times, accommodation with “character” and dire customer service.
So, is it worth booking? That depends entirely on your expectations. If you’re dreaming of ticking off a bucket-list long-haul destination, swanning into a five-star resort with seamless transfers and a welcome Bellini, perhaps do not gamble £99 on a surprise getaway.
Especially when the “extras” (baggage, seat selection, breathing near the aircraft) begin adding up.

This was not the sunny break I had hoped for… (Image: Portia Jones)
However. If you’re game for a laugh, can persuade your partner or a few pals to embrace chaos, and, importantly, you enjoy a story more than a sun lounger, then it’s worth a punt for under £100.
Sure, you might end up with awful flight times, a dingy hotel and landing during a storm, but at least you’re not at work, right?
Book the deal. Surrender to the travel gods, pack lightly and manage expectations heavily. Who knows, you might get Thailand, or you could be jetting off to Benidorm. May the odds ever be in your favour.
Get your Wowcher Mystery Holiday Deal here.








