The sulky, soul patch-wearing defender has been handed the mother of all get out of jail free cards after being picked as a replacement for the injured Jarrel Quansah – a decision of such baffling, spineless convenience that it makes a mockery of the very idea of national service.

He’s now free to make his first England appearance since ditching his country midway through the 2022 World Cup because he’s seemingly incapable of hacking fully-deserved criticism. Let’s be clear about what happened in Qatar.

England assistant Steve Holland reportedly had the temerity – the absolute gall – to ask White to do what the folks at British Rail seem incapable of doing: his job. He asked him to look at some data, study the opposition, and maybe show a passing interest in the sport that pays for his mahogany-hued lifestyle.

White’s response? He threw his toys out of the pram and into the Persian Gulf before hopping on the first flight back to London. He abandoned his team-mates in the heat of a World Cup because his feelings were a bit bruised. It was a level of fragility usually reserved for Victorian poets, expensive souffles, or Bruno Fernandes after getting his shoulder tapped.

Recalling him now isn’t just a misjudgement; it’s an insult to every kid who has ever kicked a burst ball against a garage door dreaming of representing the Three Lions. It’s a slap in the face to the players who would crawl over broken glass and a mile of sewage just to sit on the bench for a friendly against San Marino.

White famously claims he doesn’t even like football. He treats the beautiful game with the same weary detachment a teenager treats a Sunday morning trip to a garden centre. If he’s so bored by the sport, why are we forcing him to endure the “hardship” of international duty?

Inviting White back into the fold sends the sort of pathetic, counterproductive message that a Keir Starmer U-turn provides – that you can desert your country, insult your coaches and treat the national shirt the way Sadiq Khan treats working-class Londoners: with total disdain, and we’ll still come crawling back to you the moment a hamstring twinges.

We are told this is a new era for England. If so, it shouldn’t look like a recycling bin for players who lack the intestinal fortitude to handle a stern word from a coach. The England squad shouldn’t be a sanctuary for the “snowflake” generation of footballers who think a telling off is an infringement on their human rights.

Ben White abdicated his national responsibilities in Qatar. He made it clear that his ego was more important than the collective – a shimmering monument to modern selfishness.

In any other walk of life, if you walk out on your employer in the middle of their biggest project because you were asked to do a little reading, you’d be handed your P45 and treated with the same warmth Just Stop Oil protestors treat Vincent van Gogh paintings.

Keep him away. England need lions, not lizards who scuttle off to the nearest rock the moment the heat gets turned up. To let him wear the shirt again is more than just a mistake – it’s a total surrender of English standards.