“Don’t you just love it,” a beady-eyed veteran Tory chortles to me over a crisp glass of French white wine. “If you don’t, you don’t have a pulse.” Peter Mandelson’s arrest barely two hours before our chinwag in the heart of Westminster undoubtedly had fuelled his jaunty appraisal of modern-day British politics. But he is, at least partly, right.

This is only Monday and the news vortex was spinning wildly. This is not unusual. I personally blame two things – Brexit and social media. Brexit made every political argument binary. Nuance and lengthy, healthy debate appear to have been tossed into the River Thames.

Social media has made everyone have the attention span of a gnat. Living in Appland, we scroll through Prime Ministers, leaders, parties, and policies at breakneck speed. Tweetaholic Mrs Badenoch, who is pushing for a ban for kids, says social media is for adults, not for children.

Judging by some of the abhorrent postings – by adults – I’ve seen this week, why not ban social media full stop?

There was heartbreak in the Brown (this author, not the former prime minister) family home on Wednesday with the sad passing of our family cat. Lots of tears all round. As if by some feline serendipity, I bumped into Larry, Downing Street’s Chief mouser, yesterday morning.

Labour’s demise in a seat it has held for almost 100 years piles even more pressure on lame duck Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer.

Shortly after the result and before I’d finished my 5am coffee hit, one Labour contact messaged with a twist on England’s famous 1966 World Cup winning commentary line: “Keir thought it was all over, it is now”.

Remember, 12 months ago, this was an event which garnered weeks and weeks of coverage in the build up.

It has barely registered a flicker in 2026. “A week is a long time in politics” is the famous phrase coined by Harold Wilson back in the analogue times of the 1960s. After this week it’s time to check my pulse.